For those who don't know, The Onion is an almost-pure satire "news" site. (They occasionally run non-faked interviews. It's rare.) Link removed, as it was wrong anyway. If you can get to old issues (sufficient references provided above), more power to you.
 Reference > [proprietary title of article satirizing the gay-marriage issue at the state level, removed]Description :: The Onion, Volume 40, Issue 08, February 25, 2004
I would quote the article, but they don't appreciate it by default. I might ask for permission later. Continued at top
Owned by Unordained - Created on 02/25/2004 - Last edited on 11/03/2004 11/01/05 :: Folder :: Laugh, it's funny01/03/04 :: Folder :: Knee-jerk12/01/03 :: Folder :: Marriage 02/02/04 :: Article :: I'm thinking in plaid! :: We strive to make sure our editorials are as trendy as we can.11/02/04 :: Message :: Circumventing marriage laws10/17/03 :: Quote :: CLikiCLiki pages can be edited by anyone at any time. Imagine a fearsomely comprehensive disclaimer of liability. Now fear, comprehensively
10/08/03 :: Quote :: [unspecified]You should avoid hedging, at least that's what I think.  09/27/03 :: Quote :: Strong BadThere are no two people who are not on fire.  09/25/06 :: Image :: HIPAA quiz :: 09/04/03 :: Quote :: Scott AdamsNormal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.  08/09/17 :: Quote :: UnknownSome asshole just farted in my pants. 08/09/17 :: Quote :: Terry Pratchett (not verbatim)Build a man a fire--he'll be warm a night
Set a man on fire--he'll be warm for life 07/05/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: Unmarried.org06/19/05 :: Reference :: (link) :: Grocery Store Wars - Join the Organic Rebellion05/03/05 :: Article :: Double-quotes for emphasis :: Who the hell thought this was a good idea?04/14/07 :: Quote :: Ernest HemingwayHappiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. 01/02/04 :: Quote :: Dennis MillerLiberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.  02/02/04 :: Article :: CBS is being mean to me! :: MoveOn.org's "Child Play" ad is being refused -- oh no!01/24/05 :: Article :: You're being brainwashed about safe sex (again) :: Or how people like to mix God-given rules, marriage, sexuality, condoms, pregnancy, and AIDS11/21/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: Focus on the Family's review of Bruce Almighty11/10/04 :: Article :: Test of Balance :: The Press: Right or Left leaning?11/03/04 :: Reference :: (link) :: Benefits and obligations that come naturally with marriage11/02/04 :: Message :: More voters than residents?10/06/07 :: Reference :: (link) :: L0rdZ pR4y3r10/03/03 :: Quote :: Woody AllenTo you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition. 09/09/03 :: Quote :: MontesquieuSometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer. 09/04/03 :: Quote :: Mark TwainFamiliarity breeds contempt -- and children. 09/04/03 :: Quote :: Mae WestMarriage is a great institution -- but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
09/04/03 :: Quote :: [unspecified]Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. 08/31/04 :: Quote :: insignisThis Earth has less than 10% of its total space remaining. Would you like Windows to run Earth cleanup now? 08/31/04 :: Quote :: ZarthragEarth is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can. 08/29/08 :: Quote :: Harry S TrumanWhenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship. 08/15/05 :: Quote :: R.S. Surtees (author)More people are flattered into virtue than bullied out of vice. 07/28/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: Outrageous Christianity06/16/05 :: Quote :: Dale HancheyWe embrace this idea with an enthusiasm born of desperation. 04/18/04 :: Quote :: Henry Stimson (Secretary of State)... gentlemen do not read each other's mail. 04/16/07 :: Quote :: Napoleon BonaparteNever interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. 02/27/08 :: Quote :: DaveOh, that's my problem: I inform people against their will! 02/11/04 :: Reference :: (link) :: Handy Latin Phrases01/30/05 :: Quote :: Chuang-tzuAll men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility. 01/30/05 :: Article :: God kills terrorists with an earthquake! :: Some people just don't know when to stop talking ...01/21/05 :: Quote :: Dale HancheyIf you haven't tested it, it doesn't work. 01/03/04 :: Article :: Blood type :: A well-meaning preacher sticks his foot in his mouth ... 12/01/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: Culture and What Courts Can't Do12/01/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: Opponents Of Gay Marriage Divided11/23/05 :: Quote :: Henry David ThoreauAny fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. 10/19/03 :: Quote :: Winston ChurchillI am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the
great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. 09/30/05 :: Quote :: Thomas JeffersonWe are not to expect to be translated from despotism to liberty in a feather bed. 08/27/05 :: Quote :: Mark TwainIf it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary. 08/01/04 :: Article :: Don't ignore differences! :: The Vatican reminds us that women are different from men, hurray!07/21/05 :: Reference :: (link) :: The Myth of Marriage07/02/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: United States divorce statistics07/02/03 :: Reference :: (link) :: World-wide divorce statistics06/10/05 :: Quote :: Abraham LincolnThe best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. 06/09/05 :: Quote :: [unspecified]The more we disagree, the more chance there is that at least one of us
is right. 05/11/04 :: Reference :: (link) :: The rest of the abuse photo cartoons05/07/04 :: Article :: Beware the demonizers :: How to spot crap on sight04/07/04 :: Quote :: Mark TwainIf you ever find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause, and reflect.
[Ed. Note: you should likely reflect, regardless, but this is funnier.] 03/15/05 :: Quote :: Oscar AmeringerPolitics -- the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other. 03/13/04 :: Article :: SOAP is stupid :: Universal communication isn't here yet.03/02/04 :: Article :: Anti-discrimination and the Church :: Should you be worried about gay marriage because your church doesn't want to officiate such things?01/12/06 :: Reference :: (link) :: Butt Seks for Jesus01/09/04 :: Reference :: (link) :: How to deconstruct almost anything |
